Drama Queen

Shifted

2005-12-28T14:53:00.000+08:00

I Have MOVED! :)

Faith.

2005-09-27T10:00:00.000+08:00

So, so you think you can tell

Heaven from Hell,

Blue skys from pain.

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade

Your heros for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange

A walk on part in the war

For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl,

Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have we found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

Fantastic Wkend.

2005-08-22T10:10:00.000+08:00

After 2 days of consecutively gruelling work schedule, finally got to chill with Boy on Saturday. Thanks to the account of my company (ahem), i've gotten 2 comp tix for Sat's Dim Sum Dollies. Initially, was supposed to get tix for the show but the seats i wanted was taken up so i sorta gave up the idea. However, guess it's fate ( or whatever), we managed to catch it before the season ends!

Though the seats wasn't fantastic, it wasn't as bad as we imagined either. Haha. We were still joking in the office as to the need for binoculors on the very day. Haha. Anyhoo, met a few of my colleagues there, and most of us were sitting in my row anyways. The show was sooooooooooooo fuking funny. Almost teared at one part of the segment. Haha. I could tell , Boy enjoyed it too, cuz he was laughing harder, and louder than me. =)

As usual, we were fooling around, and was quite pissed when he called me "Watermelon" just caused i was donned in green. Not forgetting, his uncontrollably itchy fingers trying to unlock and clip my trustee LV monogram. argh. But it was fun..hehehe

So the next event that's coming up would :

1. Betrayal ....28th Aug

2. Black eyed peas concert ... 20th Sep!

And no, i'm not grinning. ( hehehehehehehehehe)

4th month

2005-08-17T11:49:00.000+08:00

"My life is brilliant"

My life is brilliant.

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.

Of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.

But I won't lose no sleep on that, 'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye, As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,

Fucking high,

And I don't think that I'll see her again,

But we shared a moment that will last 'til the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,

I will never be with you.

Elegantly painted with maximum poignancy.

Random Thoughts

2005-07-27T00:13:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be a fun filled month to look forward to : August.

First and foremost, gonna get a new Digi Cam soon! Was comtemplating between tough choices such as ixus50 & Sony's sleek Cybershot. After much deliberation & mini random grilling of counter staff , and not to mention, surveyed around for opinions, guess ixus would be the much preferred choice.

But anyhow, had brought my paranoia and inconsistency to the grave and set my mind on the ixus50. It had better be good a deal. So hopefully Boy will be able to settle the stuff and we'll be able to get it, say..end of this week? *chuckles

Not forgetting, just made a booking for "Charlie & the chocolate factory!" and could just hardly wait. Despite the anticipating it being the flick of the year, the bonus of Depp starring in it is purely enough to make me salivate. Greatly enticing. heh

Alrighty, the lack of prudence in my incoherent ( yeah, from electronic devices to Depp says a lot) speech or rather.. words, shows the immense utmost fetish towards one the most fantasized character in my delirious mind making me triggerhappy, speaks a lot about my train of thoughts..which is rather evident, that it usually doesn't coincide with the beginning of end of the convo.

Hmmm..am thinking real hard what to blog about next..oh yes, August, besides as mentioned about events going on, Boy and i probably are too, catching ''Bjorn Again : The Abba Experience " on the 20th of the month. Hopefully it's gonna be fantastic as i've heard raving reviews about it and during my time in Adelaide, i did catch the tribute show by the same group and it was rather entertaining. If this show kick ass, i'll prob go for the Beegees version in September. Heh. Sadly it's not ticketed by my company or else i could get myself better seats. Talk about abusing of authority. MUAhahaha.

So i reckon that pretty sums up most of the stuff that has been going on in recent times. Guess everything has pretty much been laid out in accordance and are running smoothly. Got myself registered for my degree, awaiting for acceptance acknowledgement, hoping to get more work shifts to supplement my never-ending mobile bill and the need to feed my appetite for more retailhappytherapy which am so hooked on Gucci apparels now, joyjoy r/s with my family, blissfulhappyrappy r/s with Boy and all of the above mentioned events makes me feel contented!

Perhaps i should really kick back n relax now eh? ...alright...again making excuses to justify my laziness , as always had been inculcated and embedded in my mind miraculously by whoknowswhat.

Assumingly i thought this post was about digi cam....nvm me.

" I wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black"

2005-07-17T00:55:00.000+08:00

It had been a fabulous fanfuckingtastic day and it's inextricable for one to explain. For the starters, i had breakfast or rather..brunch .. awaiting me as i woke up..and practically lazed around the house, importing songs from CDs onto my laptop and transferred to my ipod. After which, dolled up before meeting Boy.

Being guilt-stricken for having Boy to wait for like 45mins i reckon, hence, decided to give him a call while making my way outta the house so that atleast i could save my ass by apologizing for the agonising wait and before i knew... Boy popped outta nowhere with....

I was so shocked i couldn't really react. It was really so sweet of Boy to do so. The surprises never stopped i reckon. hehehe

Anyhow, we decided to chill for a bit before dinner and made our way to Harborfront for some drinks. Hence, we stopped by Coffee Club and enjoyed an Ice Mango Tango while Boy had a Strawberry Smoothie whilst indulging in County Pie . It tasted so yummylicious! heh..except all too much a tad of cheese.

After which we munched on Sorbet and Yogurt from New Zealand ( i think thats what it's called) and we found our all-time favorite food haunt, some taiwanese snack bar... that i sorta managed to track down previously to surprise Boy just cause that silly thing commented that he liked certain taiwanese snacks while in NS awhile back..and just so happened i saw that on tv and we went to the branch in Bishan. The silly things people do when in love eh? hah.

After the entree, we went down to ECP to have the main course. Boy brought me to Beach Hut, a live-band bar cum restaurant for dinner. Upon flipping through the menu that smelt, we decided chop chop on Norweigan Salmon for both and coconut drink for me. The ambience was good, food was alright..( better than expected though cuz he said the menu offered food that could be found in coffeeshops) but it ain't as medioacre as we both expected. The ultra friendly waiter seemed to be rather chatty ..which i guess , is going all the way to treat his customers feel at home. It was like halfway through the meal when the live-band started playing. Somehow, the ambience is much better than clubs honestly. A place whereby you can chill and R&R and nevertheless, great company without all the shovelling and 'accidental' groping. Ahh.

All in all , it was just a day so special and at the stroke of 12, wished each other a happy 3rd mth anniversary. Three months is only a measure of time, but we felt like we've been through together much longer than it seems. Anyhow, hopefully when school starts, we would still be able to indulge in each other's company as frequent as possible.

Cheers to the 3rd month and many more to come!

Lub and miss you, Boy!

The flowers are beautiful.

PS: For the record, the title is of significance to me, cuz that was what Kurt Cobain penned in the song, in expressing his feelings for his fiancee. Obsure yet sweet.

Confusion

2005-07-14T09:20:00.000+08:00

I'm constantly stumped upon the excitement and enthusiasm on the mention of "KTV".

Seriously, what's so interesting about going for KTV sessions? I'm not bias towards that, just that perhaps, since it doesn't appeal to me, i just wanna know what's the magnetic pull towards that.

Alright. I admit. I know nothing about KTV. I don't know how much they charge per hour..or is it per room? .. I don't know how the room or hall looks like. I don't know if the food there tastes good...there's food right? And i have this stereotypical concept that they only have mandarin and hokkien songs.. Right? ....Hahaha.

Whenever i'm being invited to a session or even just to tag along and accompany friends, as much as i wanna KPOH around just to satisfy my mounting curiosity, i never had a tinge of hestitation , saying "No thanks". After which , i would try to persuade the other party, how boring is it gonna be ...and how much money you're gonna pay to make your ears suffer, so why not just go shopping with me .. haha.

Backtrack : Boy did ask me to KTV once, not as in go and sing my lungs out, but rather just to meet outside the ktv lounge cuz i reckon i was shopping with mom, and he was killing time while waiting for me hence he joined his friends who happen to be in the town vicinity. Anyway. Boy had no qualms about going to KTV. Guessed he's pretty cool with it and confident enough to belt out tunes . Although i haven't heard it myself personally, but heard from him some commented that certain songs he crooned with his best bud, seems pretty audible. However, there is this THING about KTV which i felt uncomfortable in me and i suggested for Boy to meet me at PS instead. Ironically, my mom thought that we were bickering about KTV and she commented ,

" Why don't you just join him for KTV? It saves all the trouble. I can drop you there later."

I was flabbergasted. Make that fuhking flabbergasted. So i was explaining how uncomfortable it makes me feel when i'm near an outlet and she was just greatly amused, of my stupidity in thoughts and "principles" i reckon. Meanwhile, Boy was already on his way down to PS to pick me up with no qualms whatsoever.

I'm beginning to feel that i've been whining nothing but KTV. Alright, currently my TV is showing ROCKSTAR:INXS.

I really feel ashamed of how people capitalise on reality tv series for their own gain, and in this instance, is at the expense of Michael Hutchence. I guess each band has their own memories and legends that would be irreplaceable in the band's hearts. To replace one with their hush-hush audition and interviews , would be accepting but to break it out into a hype and select from the public likewise Le Apprentice? That's distasteful.

No respect whatsoever to the dead. And honestly, what sorta impression would they cast on REAL INXS fans out there?

' A group of old rockers(doubting the ability to rock even) who hadn't gotten a fat paycheque in years riding on the wave of reality series, in the name of their bandmate'.

I could honestly say so, as i could imagine how it feels like, if the now defunct Nirvana would actually produce a reality series ( Gasp!) in search of a bandmate to replace KURT COBAIN. You bet i would be the first to carry out petition to whothefuckthemanagementinproductionoftheprogramme and give it to them severly. okay. all this is getting to me. Shall stop.

Anyway, i'm just watching the programme almost religiously, just to know the outcome of it. If a chick is gonna replace Hutchence, or some black dude with a mohawk gonna take up the job..not forgetting a johnmeyer lookalike taking up the post. Moreover, i have one additional reason to watch ROCKSTAR:INXS....... Yeah baby, Dave Navarro.. He's such a hottie. Carmen Electra is one lucky bitch....mmmmm...Dave....

Enough said. Gonna do a picnic this sunday! With Boy of cuz.. Could hardly wait to have a mini celebration cuz it's our anniversary. heh Most probably Boy would be picking me up after our work today and head for fish and chips !

Food and Boy makes me a happy girl.

PS: Great. The ending shows the surviving contestants who nearly got voted off, SURVIVORstyle.
Kill me someone.

The End is the beginning is the end.

2005-07-05T09:16:00.000+08:00

Been awhile since i've last posted something constructive, and i reckon this post wouldn't make much of a difference anyway eh.

Wasn't able to turn up for work today due to the neverending nasal clogging and battling a throat like in a furnace, and decided to really rest my ass at home today. as in REALLY one day of rest.

Been shuffling to and fro work, and leisure..duh...oh yeah, gonna catch FAN 4 on thursday! WEEEEEE. Something definately looking forward to.

I couldn't really put a finger to what had been happening for the past weeks ... oh well..

While i continue my drive to bury myself on the heap of mucus-filled tissues and groan in misery, you take care guys.

Boy, miss u hor. lub lub =0)

Guilt Trip.

2005-06-15T14:57:00.000+08:00

Life has always been about decisions isn't it?

Yes, and that's what bugs me the most throughout my entire lifespan up til my Big 2.

'Live life to the fullest" ... "Realise your dreams" and all those yadda-yadda-i-heard-it-all-too-many-times-before cliche phrases are really difficult to materialise in this realistic world. For example, i'm probably gonna fuck the NTU entrance exam tomorrow..okay, i AM gonna fuck it ..because i only had one course in mind that i wanna do and i guess my chances are pretty slim since that course is so damn competitive. Not forgetting, i pave my own way, spiralling down to eternal hell when i refuse to sit for the SATS test for admission to SMU. Haha. Talk about Queer.

Anyhow, many told me to just give it a go since i'm shortlisted for that damn entrance exam but honestly, i do think that with my grades, i don't need no entrace exam since i could get into almost any degree courses in SA.

Alright..maybe a little ego talking here..but hey, i'm no liar.

Anyway, i'm pleased with the decision i've made and i doubt that i will have any regrets. Especially i have people whom i love, supporting me all the way. But then again, you can't help but ponder, if it's gonna work out?

So ..there... Decisions, something that i fear and dread yet want to gain control over.

Oh wells, all too many decisions gone wrong, but i'm still blogging now.

I'm a Survivor.

Really, it's the ego talking.

Zoo Ache.

2005-06-06T08:34:00.000+08:00

Saturday:

Woken up by the stupid alarm, in preparation for THE game.Yes, a badminton game in a loooonnnnggggg while. It wasn't as intensive as i thought it was gonna be, but nevertheless, had fun with the bunch.

After the game, had a LARGE input of foodies! Soto Ayam!Fries!Giant cuppa Coke! hehehehehehe

The downside was, when i got home around close to 3, had to get ready for work soon. Sucks working on a saturday night, more so, i felt so trashed already.

However, work was fine. No fussy assholes nor thorn-in-the-arse bastards to annoy the daylights outta me. Just that the time passed rather slowly and my usual gossipy bunch was not on duty. Boy was out with his friends and he helped me to find out about the fair which was SO CRAP( shall elaborate that much later).

Anyhoo, was delayed awhile after the phoneline closed, due to this annoying feline on the other side of the receiver and also to render a little help to my colleague. When i palmed out from work, saw Boy! Hahaha..he was carrying so much food on one hand while clutching to his mobile on the other, but i was too tired and lazy to disturb him. heh. So we just took a slow stroll and talked a bit over fags before sending me home to enjoy the Soto ayam (yet again) and Shepherd pie from Secret Recipe. Bon Appetit!

Sunday:

This time i got up even earlier, i swear. Was woken up by the alarm and succumbed to temptation of Lala land and only was shaken up like 45mins later. BUT...i still got my arse moving. However, my aching body overwhelmed the enthusiasm within me for days.

Anyhoo, cooked up a storm. Okay, mabbe that's a little bragging. Prepared ButterPepperTuna sandwiches, SeaweedChikin, WesternsausagesCucumberCrabstick Cocktail. That should keep us salivating for awhile eh?

Hehehehehe..Boy picked me up about 1030 and we set off for ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yeah baby, we're off to the zoological gardens. Hahaha. Boy was SO shocked to see the neverending queue at the ticketing counter. Oh! We were greeted by...erm...i would say...Local versions of Mauri dance or something before proceeding to the ticketing counter.

Itinerary : Took a tram ride with this in hand :

Tooked the ride to the STOP 3 whereby we managed to catch THE ENDING of the Sealion show. Was so fucking disappointed. Only managed to view the Sealion,Manatee and Penguins AFTER the feeding time. Talk about bummed.

So we sorta loiter around the area as awaiting for the next show at 1305. Meanwhile, my tummy was rumbling so we sat at a shelter and tucked into our foodies! The only presence that spoiled the ambience was , we were seated near the White Rhinos and hence the pungent air of crap was overpowering. But fuck it, we had to eat. hahahahahaha.

Totally enjoyed the food i made, and Boy! made. Boy did a yummilicious omelette with heaps of ham and shrooms! My ultimate favorite combi! hehehehe.

After filling our tummies, we went for the Polar Bear show. We arrived earlier so i territorised an area which the fan was blowing in the direction of my back while whining about the heat and my hand ache. hehe. Soon after the show started and we enjoyed it SO much...okay, minus the crowd and those imps.

We walked about, looked at some weird plantation and found ourselves at Children's World!!!! Hahaha..i was like fucking exhilerated only to see heaps of people especially kids *shudders.

Stood around for awhile before landing our asses on a wooden bench and we talked over fags and i had a sudden cravin for the Chicky's Meal @ KFC. And guess what did Boy did? ......

and...

Yes..hehehe.Boy bought these 2 hand puppets for me. Isn't he so sweet? =) After a brief tour of the zoo, we headed to the exit where we sweetly indulged in Ben & Jerry's. Had double scoops of Strawberry and a single shot of Mint with chocolate chunks while Boy settled for a cuppa Ah-Mengo Juice.

After the sweet treat, we made our way down to Suntec Conventional Hall in hope of some serious shopping! Much to my disappointment, the stuff they sold there were crap. Utter crap. Even though they're Abercrombie but Ew. Would rather stick with the Auctions.

Went to walk around for clothes,bags, shoes but i can't seem to find anything that i like at all. I guess ..that's a sign. hmmm. Caught sight of the capsule machines and wanted to get our hands on the mickey or minnie plushies..but all we got was like 2 Chessire Cats from Alice in Wonderland , 2 unknown cat-related-horrifying-looking-things, 1 genie from Aladdin, 1 Winnie the pooh, 1 Donald duck, 1 Stitch from Lilo & Stitch.

Each turn was like 2 bucks and after numerous turns, i still didn't get what i want. Seriously....What The Fuck.

Boy offered to turn out everything but i didn't see the point..and we wanted to sell it back to the shop for a dolla as we didn't wanna lug so many balls back home..but it wasn't possible..somehow.

Wanted to try this Dutch-Indo restaurant but it was fucking fully reserved. So disappointed. Next time we should just call for reservation or something. But we settled for Cartel anyhow. I enjoyed my meal..not sure about Boy. I guess the whole while he wasn't really sure what he was chomping down..and kept trying to play a trick on me by asking me to gobble his share.

Dinner at Cartel :

Girl - Grilled Chicken with Texas shroom sauce.

Boy - Rodeo ribs with sauce??

Girl&Boy - Scallop and Calamari Rings without Scallop and 3 dips!

All in all, it was a fanfuckingtastic day.

All thanks to Boy. =)

SHOPPPPPPING!

2005-05-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

Yes, the great spore sale bug has caught up with me and manifested throughout the nervous system, triggered convusively by my hypothalamus. hehehehe

Apart from waking up to the noon of the day, accompanied mommy dearest to get a joystick for my desktop. Unexpectedly, spotted my manager at the mall too. hahaha..So weird.

Then did some minor shopping at Robinsons and went off to meet Boy for mass. When we met up, we checked up Mphosis for more stuff but it was an utter disappointed til we spotted this new shop haunt for me now! hahahaha..its soooooo cute..all the mickey stuff!!! Can't resist and bought a top from there and so did Boy! So cute..imagine him in mickey tee...hahahahahahahahahaha.

But its good. i looooovvvvveeee that shop now. Gonna get more tops and a cap when my payday arrives. But strangely, that shop doesn't seem to offer any discount..But heck!

Hehehehehehe..Can't wait for my mini Visa to arrive..and hopefully the Campus card in time to come! Imagine owning my very own cheque book!! And next would be my sup card when i turn 21..*fantasize*

Hehehe..alright. Really need to search for a good wallet that can manage all my junk and yet looks chic. Anyone knows of a dior wallet that fits the above criteria? Pls tag me.

Off to munch on m'shroom chikin pie and then to bed. Gotta work tml. Boohoo.

Madagascar

2005-05-29T00:43:00.000+08:00

Just came home , feeling the same old oh-so-tired agony but heck, for all it's worth, i was with Boy.

To sum up the day, it was hectic with a capital H. Got woken up reluctantly for dim sum session and it sucks. In comparison with the dim sum Boy brought me to yesterday which was fab fab fab, those i had this morning could not even put up a fight. Anyhoo, headed home and slacked for a bit before draggin my ass to accompanying mommy dearest to have her haircut at Kimage which we booked an appointment for. As usual, having our tresses done there was simply delightful. I had a slight trim of my fringe for a few, before us making our way to PS.

I dread having tight budget in preparation for the great spore sale but as usual, the temptation was just purely overwhelming. Went crazy at the shops BUT the stuff did not really tick my spot. However, got myself this chic dress at Mphosis and wanted to get some kitten heels or pumps and beads necklace to go with it but it was a futile attempt. Momzee had popped in a few shops and she got what she desired before we headed to Carrefour and spent a domb. Who would have thought one could spend so much at a supermart...but then again , shopping at supermarts is my all time favourite haunt.

Got back home and had a quick dinner before rushing out to meet Boy. By the time i got to PS, it was already 8ish and Boy had to wait for me.hehehe. However, all went well, and Boy and i enjoyed 'Madagascar'. We had a number of good laughs and giggles though the plot ..i would say, wasn't there. But we enjoyed the movie ...and duh, the company. hehehe

So, i'm looking forward to the trip to the zoo next week and our little picnic! Hmm, gotta love picnic though i wouldn't say the same for the weather. Not forgetting the sale!!!! Shop shop shop.....mmmm..shop shop shop shop shop.

Besides being tied down to an endlessly filled schedule for work, gonna attend Ola Kala with twinnie, Dav ..Hopefully it's gonna be as good as it comes..and afterall, who wouldn't enjoy a fucking complimentary ticket? ok..it still depends on the show. Probably am gonna miss Boy more next week..

Zoo..Great sale..awaiting for Visa Mini..Ola Kala.....and Boy ...

Damn i'm so gonna enjoy myself. =)

LALALA

2005-05-24T16:34:00.000+08:00

Watched 'Swimming Pool' last night and i would say it's an intrigueing yet dark flick. Quite a pleasant film. Was hoping to be able to catch Cirque de Soleil soon. Well well..

Anyway, on Saturday at work, which i happened to be grumpy and felt fucked up, suddenly my colleague passed me a bouquet of flowers..and i was like in a state of a blank mode, til he muttered the name of the sender. It was from Boy! hehehehe..so sweet of him to do that, and from then onwards, the ofice peeps have been speculating what's the occasion..hahaha..funny but yet very very sweeeet of Boy to do that.

Here's a little preview:

Anyway, i booked tickets for Madagascar and could hardly wait for that day to come! Hope Boy would enjoy the show as it was his idea who wanna watch it.

La la la la la....

Uncertainties

2005-05-19T00:42:00.000+08:00

An deniable fact would be that, regardless of how righteous or honest you are in your attitude or speech, good doesn't necessarily begets good.In fact, the tables would be turned on you, and as you would guess, you'll have to suffer the setback or consequences for that matter.

I believe, God works in his own miraculous ways and i've faith that He has a plan for all of us. But i can't help and ponder, what has He installed for me ahead? I really want to believe what had happened, was for a good cause.

On another side, many people come and go in your lives. You'll never know who and what will stay or decide to pull the plug on you. It goes the same for what people will call, feelings. A person dear to my heart had hit me at the right spot in my heart about an issue , my heart didn't tell my mind to process it. The sudden appalling and overwhelming moment felt like a flashback from hell. How could he know the underlying matter buried at some corner of my cardiac-being? That i,myself, don't even realised. The sudden reaction during supper, was just to close up and not speak at all. I haven't felt that vulnerable in a long time.

Time healed the wounds inflicted on me. However, no matter how much or well it healed, a wound would always be a wound. I didn't bare resentment nor hatred to the perpetrator.Needless to add, the phobia factor. Perhaps all along , it was an issue meant to be an escapade.

Why despite all this while , i got to hold back deep in me. Why did it have to be so painful in the past, that i might be causing hurt to someone dear to me now.

Perhaps, that's what life is all about. Uncertainties.

holla-day!

2005-05-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

Ok,I'm seriously getting lame with the title of my blog but heck.

Alright, so to feed the appetite to those kpohs out there, here is the low-down on my fanfuckingtastic juicy gossip about my holiday.

Okay, we checked in at the shangri-la resort on saturday and we were overwhelmed by the clear view of the beach we got. The room was great with everything well-equipped for a interim escapades and the staff there were real friendly too.

So we did the unpacking and just lazed around til it was about evening time before we ventured off back to the town, in hope of catching 'Kingdom of heaven'. However, much to our dismay, the show was fucking sold out.Hence we just played some games before filling our over-hungry tummies. We dropped by delifrance and i could only say , we'll avoid patronising there for some time to come. heh. One weird sighting i would say was this couple besides us. I'm not sure if that guy was trrying to impress the girl cuz i could honestly say, he would have failed big time! All these talks about allergies..to gaming..is such a big no-no. And i couldn't help but criticize and mimick whatever he was saying..all in all, HES A FUCKING BORING ASSHOLE.

On day 2, we woke up to a rainy sunday morning and our plans to tour sentosa was a failure. Though our itinary for the day was brough to a halt, we managed to spend happy time together just relaxing at the balcony with fags and admiring the misty and faint scenery.

However, we skipped the complimentary breaky and we headed to tour the island. It felt weird, carrying the thoughts and excitement like a tourist but it was seriously fucking exhilerating! hahaha..After doing lunch, we decided to drop by underwaterworld and i had no fucking idea that cuttlefish wasn't a fish. Ok..laugh you asses , but i really did not know! Will be posting some pics soon. If i ever snap outta the lazy compelling habit.

Anyhow after a short trip around the island we headed back to change before travelling back to town to catch Kingdom of Heaven which we eventually did after dining. It was really a provocative flick about religion and all . Though a little dry but i did enjoy it MYSELF *ahem* hahahaha .

We did make a feeble attempt to try to stay awake for the sunrise by watching a match ..i guess it was liverpool against some other team and after that we chatted throughout ..however, we caved in to lala land and i only got up at 9ish. Being the considerate me, i made sure that i wasn't the only one awake.hahahaha..Which after we did Breakfast in bed and it was sooooooo nice!! Having the full american breaky on a fine monday morning on the bed was damn good..really..fucking fantastic!!

Not to mention, Boy surprised me with 99 roses and it was really so sweeet of him. Never have i met anyone who, with so much effort invested in, could surprise to such a big deal...hehehehehehehehe

Okay..im smiling non-stop again but really...shoot me cuz i dont care.

Oh ! and not forgetting the R2D2 and the darth vader toys. hahahaha..

STAR WARS!!! can hardly wait!!

I'm like some pathetic happy little girl who can't stop grinning and drowning in self-bliss and i would request not to be rescued seriously.

Who said life sucks?

Okay i did but FUCK it, mine's not. =P

Okay..shan't make u people too jealous. *whistles.

happy happy part 2

2005-05-03T16:44:00.000+08:00

So i'm on a happy streak. YAY!

Anyhoos, just some updates on what's been going on. Well, yesterday being the PH and all, had breaky with family ..and i had some ultimate tasteless ba chor mee with MINIMAL ba chor..sucks

Which after met up with Shawnboy later in the day. He picked me up at the lobby and we drove to suntec. It seems weird being driven by him..haha..somehow, the trust factor was surfacing, especially on the infamous accounts we committed in school. heh. Finding a park at suntec on a PH is definately FUCKED UP. We banked on parks after parks before getting a decent one to plant the wheels there.

Bitched, gossiped and ramble lotsa shit over at one of my fav cafes, Secret Recipe. We did cheesecakes and frosty fruit punches over gossips and boy does it feel good. heh. To think a bosom friend wanted to sell me for 60cents to Starbucks as he was lack of change. SHEESH.

Anyhow, came up with this puzzle idea weekly and i'm really crossing our fingers that we could keep up with the commitment for puzzle-making..Well , with effiicient and reliable peeps like us, i would say we could go back to the shop to get the frame by ..lets say..2006 =)

Well , the highlight of the day was seeing Boy!
He got tickets for ' The interpreter" and we did a few games of KOF. hahahaha. Seriously , the flick was really mind boggling..and i was still trying to figure out what was who and why was where. So after the flick, we stood around relaxing with fags before taking a stroll to the esplanade..and much later, settling down to fill our almost non-existance appetite at this Thai restaurant which i can't exactly remember..

Chat for a few before heading home... and Boy came down to do lunch with me today after my horrendous day at work and here i am blogging after Boy sent me home.

Can't wait for Boy to get his wheels so we can say " FUCK YOU" to the cabs that never stop for us at midnights.

So sweeeeeeeeet.

happy happy

2005-04-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

WEEEEE! i'm home and have this sudden impulse to blog.

When people are upset, they do stupid things.
When people are happy, the ALSO do stupid things.

Well, i belong to the latter!

I'm like this walking skeletal-flesh-hanging mass which is filled with endless joy!

Right now, just waiting for Boy to get home while i'm grinning at the re-runs of Friends and typing crap away on blogger. Heh.

Shit.I'm like on esctasy.

No more happy pills.

I seriously need to stop smiling.Damnit.

Obscure Bliss

2005-04-22T09:57:00.000+08:00

MACjuke : U2 - Sometimes you can't make it on your own.mp3

At some junctions in life, when you felt you almost couldn't make it through, you did.

And there rides along the aftermath of the post-drama-o-rama, with those fucked up feelings and what not.

I was there.

Be it domestic affairs, relationships or studies, i've been there all.

Okay, for all those past BS that i've ranted and raved, i saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Okay..Maybe i'm being a tad melodramatic BUT seriously, all has been good.

I'm really thankful for the way things had turned out eventually. I'm willing to die in the bliss that had been blessed upon me. Never felt so good in a long while. Really.

Now looking back, at all those passive trash talks about not able to go on, i know it ain't true.
Cause if i really did not go through those convulating shit, i wouldn't be what i am, who i am, and who's with me.

I'm really a happy girl and i'm gonna close the chapter of hurt and fucking put it behind me.

Goodbye to you.

Hello to us. =)

fuck it

2005-04-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

You're the right kind of wrong.

My right kind of wrong.

You're my right kind of wrong.

Epitome of love.

2005-04-09T15:09:00.000+08:00

Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold
my life just hasn't been the same oh baby no
when i looked into your eyes the moment that i let you go i just.. broke down

Baby if i ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrafice
Cuz the feelin that I feel within no other man would ever make me feel so right i
ts nice to smile when i get your phone call at night
But I rather have you here with me right next to me and I miss the way you hold me tight

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that i could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you I'd do anything

That's right baby Im goin crazy
I need to be your lady
I been thinkin lately
that you and me yes we can make it
just ride with me roll with me Im in love with you baby.

break it down then I'll tell you what i feel from the moment that i met you its been so damn real
my heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak Can't belive I feel so weak
tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me and you love me I'm your lady
I'll be around waitin for you put it down be the woman for you
im fallin so deep for you crazy over you im callin
out to you what am i gonna do? its true no frontin
it's u ain't no other I can no longer go on without you
........ I just break down

Do wop that thang!

2005-04-06T21:28:00.000+08:00

Okay. So i typed a pile of bullshit and it got erased cuz i didn't fucking saved it while editing. Great.

Anyway, to summarise ..or rather i have to compile it into an abstract cuz my failing memory doesn't permit me to remember what i had ranted on in the past 3 minutes. Welcome to the 20s club. I'm already having dementia. YAY!

Ok. Basically i was whining about working 3 days straight in a row, morning shifts and to top it up been going out every night since sunday , hence was morphing into a walking corpse into the office, hoping noone will realise despite masking my moodswings and grouchyness under the plastic grin, shamelessly worn on my face. heh.

Ok. i'm outta words. Fingers froze. Mind blank.

I'm just hit 20 but i feel like am 60.

Wheres my fucking senior citizen pass so i could enjoy my concessions and play crochet?

Euphhhhhoria

2005-03-27T22:07:00.000+08:00

*MAC juke : "Jojo - Get out(Leave!.mp3) / AliceinChains - Nutshell.mp3"

Had a total fuckingfantasticfreakingwunderful dddaaayyy.

Despite the fact that i gotta brag my candyass up in the dawn, which by the way am a person with no mornings except for schooling periods, for Easter mass, all was good.

Dressed for mass..Attended mass..and Allinthefamily went for brunch at this restaurant in Suntec for buffet. It was gooooood.Wait, make that fuckinglicking Good. heh. Had Roast..chikin...spaghetti..etc etc. Basically, stuffed face. After which, took a stroll and headed to Carrefour and splurge like there wasn't tomorrow. Nothing beats shopping at the supamart. Spent like hundreds there. Mmmm..Retail Therapy for Food..i like.

Dad reluctantly bought me a dvd, Cinderalla. Yeah, the cartoon. Weird but ok.

I can't really recall the rest of my days except for the fact that it's a allyoucanfuckingeatandhaveweightissuescomingup day. Gonna cook my signature curry tomorrow. Could hardly wait.

Gonna be off tml.WEE.

Feeling so estatic on the thoughts of catching up with Shawnboy, imagine the tons of bitching and gossiping when he picks me from work. Hahaha. Shawnboy's the MAN.

And not forgetting my Ms Pocket! The monthly anticipation taitai indulgence in poshdinningandRETAILTHERAPY is killing me, especially the fact that i gotta sit out of the steamboat feast last sat, due to my obligations of being enslaved by my job.

Next week , HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!

So, Happy Easter! Rejoice!

2005-03-23T09:29:00.000+08:00

So many things on my mind.

The call to inform about my MC.

The trip to the clinic to actually GET my MC.

To realise my fantasizing of Ribena.

...3 spicy sardines currypuffs.

...3 spicy POTATO currypuffs.

The hunger for my tastebuds for Vegetarian noodles.

2 packs of Chilled soya bean drinks.

It has gotta be my malfunctioning food-resistingforaday body blogging.

IF only

2005-03-16T20:27:00.000+08:00

Many a times in life, where you will find yourself at the crossroads, and can't help but blurt out " if only...."
Right. I'm only human too.
Somehow, i find myself abusing the use of "if only-s' all too many times and ponder if i really meant that.

Apart from the Ah-peks (think : "aiyah..if only i buy 5858 instead of 5859, i a-leh-dee win 7000 thousand dolla leh!" and the Aunties (think: Wah..wasted leh! i forgot to bring my coupon! 50 cent cheaper leh! Lugi!!) , i realised for whatever situations i was in, "if only-s" never fail seem to make a futile attempt to blurt out in my speech.

Lets see my list of if-onlys .

From doing well or should i say distinctlvely excelling in my education which is pretty evident as i always bitch about lacking in that few % to attain a 90% for my SACE, to purchasing a TOTALLY UNNECESSARY item which i totally regret upon feasting my eyes on something better, and who can forget when you're dejected and low and can't help but have your mind full of flashbacks of the losers you've once dated or met.....

Before i actually began blogging, i had the time to look back on my past fuckingwhimsandwhines.

Would things be really better if he didn't exist in my life...or perhaps should i say if i didn't LET him exist in my life...or perhaps if i had learnt to curb my temper and be more understanding and try to remedy the situation instead of blabbering spitefulbullshit because of my high&almightyfuckingtemper....or perhaps ,even if i had improved myself to what he wanted me to be, he would still prefer another for Gawdknowswhy reason...

Really.

There could only be so many "If onlys".

Would he be reading this entry?

...IF only.

Karma

2005-03-09T12:16:00.000+08:00

....Karma...

Ok, just a short entry to prove that my blog ain't dead.

Anyway, i've finally abandoned my wastrel livelihood and been enslaved to a title called, Job. Not that i'm complaining but i much more prefer the previous one that i was doing. However, decided to stick with it as i'm not some fucking wimps to bail becuz of some fucked up big time customers who make things difficult on the phone.

Another fucked up reason about my job is that i have a fucked up big time schedule. Working 5 saturdays in a row ain't a joke, regardless of the hours. It's as screwed as it sounds. Seriously.

So..my shopping time is taken up which means cutting down on my extravagent splurge on nonsensical un-neccesities eh? Not.

Found myself drowning in indulgence of the wonder of online shopping which, literally, equates the input and unfortunately, output too. Yeah..Bankstatements do NOT lie.

Ok..So the A's results were out last week.

HIM...Karma..karma...heh

Did i mention...a short entry?!

Reminiscences

2005-02-24T21:25:00.000+08:00

I miss being in adelaide pursuing my O.C craze.

I miss crooning to the themes on OC.

I miss fantasizing my role in it.

I miss waking up to a silent room with nothing but sunbeams penetrating my panes,& mind.

I miss smelling the scent of fresh grass tinted with aromatic blooming roses.

I miss the groans of the car's engine in my room.

I miss sneaking to the garden, indulging in my sweet ol' sin,

I miss laying on the patio topped with large yoga mat,suntanning.

I miss donning your tee,drinking from our mugs and looking at our pictures at my dresser every morning when i'm up for school.

I miss you.

but knowing you'll miss someone else...

Kill me someone.

So much for CNY

2005-02-11T13:40:00.000+08:00

For all you folks out there :

Happy Chinese New Yr!!!

Okies..So yeah..u cheena people..got angbao to take..YaY..not! Hmmm..lets see what haf i been up to?

last 4 days of tossing around in excruciating pain,endless itch and covered in wateverthefuck that's in the bubbles which i have countless of it too... yep..Well well..TADA..i celebrated mine with Chicken pox!..talk abt FESTIVE eh?

Who needs to be in all red? Who needs to have their hair dyed red? Or have the house in RED decor ? No sincerity. I welcomED the year of Rooster with Chicken pox. Right.

The only thing i look forward to... is to consolidate all my fortune and get ready to carry out my perpetual charity drive notion to the organisations in the good ol' Orchard Rd..

I'm coming...oh yeah baby..i sure am..

Who else wanna take part in this charitable event?

PS:Did i mention...im gonna gun down any couple in my sight on this auspicious day, 14 feb? .

...Right...i would still be having pox then...

Darn.

REbirth

2005-01-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

If i could, i would wanna be born at the era where the Haired bands ruled the music industry.

I wanna marry a rock star.

I wanna be a starlette.

Wanna be where you wished you could be half of what i accomplished.

" I like pleasure spiked with pain and music is my aeroplane"

Superficial facade

2005-01-28T20:53:00.000+08:00

It got me thinking how some, could allow themselves, without any second of consideration, manipulate situations and hurt people just so they could attain their aims and goals.

Some interesting situations you WILL find yourself in :

- Asking a particular friend out; but gave you heaps of restrictions eg. venues,time,days..only to realise just so they could meet their respective gfs/bfs which they already gonna spend the rest of the wkends with, not forgetting the endless pone calls and smses everyday...

-making new friends at a new environment ; offering your utmost,purest friendship only to realise you've been seriously excluded in certain discussions and behaving like a moron cause you have no clue as to what's going on.

-thinking that everyone like you is inexperienced and trying to conduct themselves like you would, and only to realise they have been making 'secret' connections with higher ranks and been trying to butter up to them 'subtley'...NOT

-been asked all to many times ' WHAT YOU DOING ON VALENTINE'S DAY'

-going home , weary from overwhelmin fatigue, and still having to help out in some chores, and having to see your sibling giving some fucked up attitude whereas showing the courteous and 'oh-im-so-nice-to-my-friends' tone and attitude when talking to their friends esp guy friends.

-listening to many friends saying how beautiful one of the girls are, which you wholely agreed also, and the type of clothes she wear as she always look so good ..so cheerful..is rich...and has a loving bf for sometime already..and not to mention..from some top college...damn..why all the good stuff are invested in one being?

-lastly....your mom said..you piled on some weight.

Like my life isn't sucky already.

*

2005-01-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

I'm the one for you

Cuz i know all the dirty thing you like to do

I'm the fear in ur eyes

I'm the fire in ur flies

I'm the sound that's buzzing round ur head

WEEEEEE

2005-01-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY~!

ok. YES we won.

Why?

Cuz i supported em.heh

Went to the aussie fair ytd at orchard hotel ballroom. qualified for a double deg major: Bachelor of business(Accounting)/Bachelor of Business( Banking & Finance). so happy. hope to go to melbourne sooooooon.

Meanwhile:

Pissed.

Aching & bored

2005-01-12T11:28:00.000+08:00

I swear i'm aching and i can't feel my legs no more.
All thanks to this idiot named Sud who made me walked from Wisma..to Lido...to Forum where the bloody escalators that are NOT working..and to Wheelock..before heading for dinner at Tang's restaurant. Only had calamari fritter with a glass of chilled sprite while he had belachan fried rice which i swore he couldn't finish and i was rite..hahaha.. and a chilled barley..which he claims was clouded with 'eyes'. After loading our tummies, headed down to heerens..made a turn back to Taka and got my lil sis a Swiss Sigg bottle or something.. hahah ..Spent so much time deliberating over which bottle to buy.. Went in and out of Guess..Zara..and a few Mango-es but couldn't find anything decent to buy :( But i had fun nonetheless telling my BEP encounter! oh YES! We also spotted Sud's twinney on the way back to my place!! HAHAHAHA.....but aching still :(
Wish me luck for tml's interview @ Shenton Way!

Reality Bites

2005-01-08T22:54:00.000+08:00

It's been like a week of bumming around and i'm not exactly complaining. Well, perhaps my wallet is.
Can't exactly remember when, but some day in this week, Oyah and i took International Plaza by storm and raided the job agencies. Shan't go into details cause that means i have heaps to type. Anyhoo, sorta regretting not taking up the job at Gateway. However, the thought of having lunch alone and the office get-up , just turns me off totally.
Just as i was prowling the net last night, came across this posting for admin which only required to perform duties from 8ish-12ish which i thought was purrrfect for me. Wonder how did that application went.

I foresee..More stoning,bumming,whining..a wastrel lifestyle all rolled up in one. Talk about a new year, a new beginning

Resurrection

2005-01-07T13:39:00.000+08:00

Well well. Out of perpetual boredom have i resurrected my blog.
Upon looking back at the past entries, only have i realised how strong a person i had become and how much revelations one would have gone through in just less than half a year.
Anyhow, i'm damn proud of my achievements in editing my blog without having to bug the master of blogs, Yang :) hehehe..proud not!
Since it's my first blog out of many months and the first blog of a new yr, shan't cloud it with depressing stuff..

DAMN I RULE!

aftermath

2004-08-24T20:19:00.000+08:00

=Gloom=

Life aftermath was a disaster. Many things to learn, trying desperately to achieve my emotion equilibrium..which could take awhile to stabilise that. From this incident, i knew i had peeps who loves me and be there for me. For that, i extend my heartfelt gratitude to you people. Without you, i couldn't possibly pull through this crisis.

Heart-wrenching as it is, i can't bear to hate you..Exposing my fragile and brittle heart being susceptible to your hurtful words and attitude. I tried to stitched the open wound manifested by pain but a futile attempt. Although a calloused heart could only feel so much pain, it didn't prohibit the overwhelming ache from filling my empty beating pump.

If only anyone could look deep within me, an empty hollow nest, waiting for someone to fill it with love..

Waiting ..

Waiting for it to heal..

Don't you know i feel the pain?

-=* Punk Rock Goddess - JOAN *=-

2004-08-22T20:33:00.000+08:00

-=* Punk Rock Goddess - JOAN *=-

Thanks daddy and momzee..Thanks for ringing me up..

Daddy :
i know we haven been getting along very well..im glad throughout my stay in australia, u've been very nice to me..smsing me and ringing me up. I've been very depressed lately, n im very touched that you care for me. Even though you will not read this, i want to tell u i love u daddy..
I'll be looking forward to the 2 weeks of genting trip u promised me..

Momzee :
You're the best momzee anyone could have..i feel so stupid always not to listen to you..i love you momzee..n u know i miss u very much..After going to genting with daddy, we'll go to states tog ok..i hope not germany..cuz i dun spk german..but i got fren there..but let's celebrate xmas in sg before leaving for states alright..=)

Thanks for all the care daddy n mommy..

I'll always rem wat you said daddy..' You'll always have daddy and mommy n elaine here..'

I know that now.. =) i love u all so much..

2004-08-17T16:09:00.000+08:00

HELP!!!!!! im SO lazy!

Seriously! i didn't get any work done at all ..geez man...

Oh wells, can someone tag me and tel me how do i friggin change the damn blogskin..cuz im sooooooo sick and tired of this page! fanX!

Anyhoo, on sunday morning, i went on this dirt cheap sale that sells most stuff at....2 bucks!! Mind you, they had good brands like esprit..kookai and even a pair of Levi's at 2 bucks! I'm like so pissed cuz i couldnt fit into that pair of Levi's or else it would have been mine!! ARRGGHHHH!!!

So..in the end, i got myself a gypsy long skirt..never own one before..so its good..heh..and that was like 10 bucks from 79..and a blouse as well as a pair of heels..im so into dirt cheap sale and retro now..All thanks to Elizabeth who recommended me ..hehe..i have to visit that boutique MORE often now *grins*

Besides that..nothing perked me up really..oh..i got scalded by the iron while ironing..im like so clumsy..oh wells ,left me 2 prominent RED burnt marks on my right hand..hopefully it'll fade away with time as they're friggin hideous..

Talking about hideous, i chanced upon this girl who didnt like me in JI on friendster..My gawd..she had semi nude picture of her on her bf's page and she says its nice..How low can she go..trust me..she wasn't wearing anything on top..what the hell was she thinking..Where has the dignity in women gone to????

Oh wells..i dont have time to bitch about others now as my workload is piling up BUT i'm still sitting on my ass and vegetating..doodling..playing around with my digi cam and exercising my fingers on the keypad..

and BTW, Ana..Peggy and i are going on a short exercise scheme everyday..and perhaps swim at the aquatic centre fortnightly..i can't believe im exercising but i seriously have to shed some flabs to look Ppppwweeetttyyyy in my bikini..hehehe..which after we're heading to semaphore beach! WOOT!!

Yesh yesh..i'm still deciding where to go after exams..melbourne or perth for a short trip..any idea guys..tag me eh..wanna make my money worth..

i really have to get down to my books and notes..been slacking way too much..but oh wells...its SIMPSONS now..oh!! and OC later...geez..im so busy wif telly...help meeeeeeeee

saturday

2004-08-14T18:59:00.000+08:00

Had a terrible nite last night..

Once again, i let my guard down and allowed him to hurt me once again..

Was having heaps of fun going out.. managed to catch 'White Chicks' and all. It was SO hilarious..very funny,stomach still hurting after minutes out of the cinema.Prior to that , we sneaked Hungry Jacks into the theatre and i got a gift!!! so im happy..and after the show, got a couple of drinks..was feeling pretty stoned and stuff

Got home..and things happened. i wished i hadn't replied him

Things can never be good for me in a way. I'm always hurt.

PErhaps, i should really let go for good and never look back at the past ever again..God..please..tell me this is not happening..

happy

2004-08-12T14:53:00.000+08:00

Finally, the dark clouds in my life are dispelled. All's good now.hehe

School's been monotonous so far..it's so boring that i cld cry..

i HATE routines but i feel thatt my life now is like a routine..get up..so to school..get home..stone for awhile while eating and being online..napping..wake up..have dinner..study..on phone..sleep and the whole vicious cycle is being repeatedly. it's so boring.

Want to go out so much but i'm strapped for cash and with the nearing finals..i wldnt wanna mess it up..so reckon i rather stay home..but there's not much of a point is it when nothing goes into ur head..oh wells..

Been on the phone for too much of my own good..yak yak yak..

Really miss those buds in spore =( .. wanted to ring em..but its cheaper if i rang after 130 which is like midnite there..most of em are schlin, and NS.. =( how sad..

Suddenly i feel like theres nothin to look forward to.. Ahead of me lies exams, homewrks, exams, more hmwk..whoever said studying in aussie is easy? lemme know. i'll shot him/her/it in the head. there're SO wrong..

Anyhows, counting down to the days that im back in sunny land..it'll be abt like..14 weeks? or less..but im extending my stay for awhile..wanting to go to melbourne..but cant find anyone to go with me..

SO looking forward to spring and summmmmerrrrr.. i wanna TAN TAN TAN! okies..n buy heaps of bikinis..hehe..found a few good spots here..ooohh..n i learnt that in adelaide they have nudist beach too.. hahahaha..

Hmmm..im so tired..so lethargic..SO LAZY!!!

Damn it..n i miss SCV..damn that box..i miss it so much,.,n shopping..n the freedom to get more cash from daddy n mommy whenever im short..n the clubs..n buddies.. =(

On the otherhand, i know i'll miss adelaide when im home..you cant have the best of both worlds can u? dang

Oh wells, gotta mug mug mug..take the exams..tour around for a couple of weeks before heading home..for XMAS!!! which means more shopping...hehehehe

damn...i dread thinking about the overweight luggage..*whistles..

shit..i have not validated my ticket yet..

hurt

2004-08-08T23:21:00.000+08:00

im hurting so bad.With noone to listen, it hurts so much.
I cant believe this is happening to this once-near-perfection relationship.
For 3 days he has been out the whole time, knowing im secretly yearnin for him to talk to me.
He said i blamed him for everything, did he even take his flaws into account?
He had changed. He never used to be like that.I dont know him as a person anymore.

After what we've been through, you bear to hurt me so deeply. You said u wld never hurt me ever again, u said u'll be here to kiss my tears away. You gave me so much promises.
Every night ever since, i shed tear over n over again for you, in my room, do u have any idea?
You said i dont uds u, did u uds me? did u know how tough is it surviving here alone?
It hurts so much for me to say to stop all contacts. But i know, u will only hurt me. deeper each time.
IT hurts so much to let you go, ..but its smth i have to do..

I'm really hurting so much...

now

2004-08-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

thanks for all to those peeps who offered their love n concern to me over wat had unravelled in an awry way..
i lub all of u so much..from the bottom of my heart, my heartfelt thanks goes out all to u peeps..

Esp to u -> Dade
When i was in tears, u made me smile..ok.not you but the 8210 incident. To think of it, we were pretty silly n naive then..geez like what 4 yrs ago? we really went a long way back. The quirk that u were, and still are, makes noone seem to be able to fathom ur nx act..For bein so sweet, we will share my O.C tapes when im back with pizza n booze as promised. No EPL pls..

Tho its still aching, my feelings for him didnt change..prob will not..ever..
the only thing that changed...the love that ought to be kept buried deep in this heart of mine.forever.

deranged

2004-08-07T17:36:00.000+08:00

YOU hurt me more than you think you did.

The sense of betrayal soared within me.

What kept me alive as it beats, i could feel, is dying.

As strong as i tried to keep everything going, ironically, is falling apart.

Superficial facade that i seem to portray to make everyone around me think it's alright

Decisions, as daunting as it is , are pressuring for an answer.

I think i found mine.

School told us that we have to apply for uni majors.

i could see where do i belong.

I bid adieu to everything about us, about you.

How can you mend a broken heart?

Not mine, you can't.

-"Morning came and I was on my way, when you reminded me I had too
soon forgotten,
it was you who set me free Yeah you were here
when I came and you'll be here when I'm gone
So don't be waiting
for love, 'cause I'll be waiting to ramble on Headed for a
heartbreak, headed for a heartbreak

Darling don't wait up for me, tonight I won't be home
You've become a stranger, I just got to be alone
Don't need nobody on my side to dull the blade I'm
on So don't be waiting for love, 'cause I'll be waiting to
ramble on Headed for a heartbreak, headed for a heartbreak,
headed for a heartbreak It's no mistake, don't you think I can
feel the pain I walk away to live again (Solo)
Headed for a heartbreak, headed for a heartbreak, don't make me hurt you
Headed for a heartbreak, well I know that I'm headed for a
heartbreak

Don't you think I feel the pain...

....

2004-08-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

hey folks..sorry for not blogging. Was being asked several times why was my page stagnant..heh..been too caught up with work and stuff..so ..yeah..

Well, nothing much happened lately i reckon..Hmmm..yeah

Apparently, this winter's weather had many taken aback as it unleashes its ugly rear especially in adelaide.Like a rage of torrent, it kept pouring nor did the winds spare its howl.I've lost count of the times i battled with my flimsy brolly against the stormy forecast. In fact, i don't see a point in carrying one as the winds, 'jostled' endlessly in all directions, making it an inevitable fact to get drench so to speak.So basically, it just caused many brollys shaking convulsively. period.

Besides that, i swear i'm hooked on tv. No, i didn't spend hours infront of the telly, instead, i turned to video recording and only savor the shows when i have the time. I also made a recommendable effort in staying offline, as i realised the gaps i need to mend before the finals hit me. Had a talk today, about application of unis, and extension of visas blah blah blah, all those stuff really hit me in the head that i really needed to invest heaps of time on intensive mugging. Hopefully, the 'tragedy' of the trials will never surface its grotesque ends ever again! =D

Nevertheless, all work but no play makes Joan a dull girl..Hence, i reckon i'm gonna balance my life now. Like to hit the sack really early ( than usual) , to maximise my rest time like watching telly or reading..oh! talking about reading, i'm like so into books now. i mean it just daunted on me that there are so many things in this world that i do not know of. Really wished i could claim to be erudite but i know i'm farrrrr from it. Thus, gonna pick up the habit of reading again..But have anyone ever been in the situation whereby you do not know where to start? Let's exchange pointers. I'm Clueless!

I got back my trial results too. Was slightly better than expected. Just hope momzee will not have a sudden shot in blood pressure while im shaking tremulously on another continent.

On wednesday night, i discovered something noone would wanna know nor see.

"Both were from my secondary school.."
"who?".... " my sec class mates."
"ohhh..but who are they?"
....."my sec class mates lohz"
" are u close to them...they don't have names is it"
....."the one on the left is my ex. the one on the right is my friend"

BANG!

I felt a gun shot through my head.A knife pierced through my heart. For a split second, i didn't know how to react. I was dumbfounded, staring at the screen with the picture and the convo screen staring right in my face.

Finally, i got to see her. The girl whom he spend more than a year and was serious with. The girl whom he told me he loved the most amongst all his exs before me. The girl that made a difference in his life. The girl whom caused many conflicts btw him and his bitchy ex. It's her, the last 2nd ex

A jolt of mixed feelings surfaced. I didn't know how or what to feel.

ANGER : Although we aren't together know, we think we could amend things and work it out in the future. However, this really made a turning point in my decision to get together. With me being away, how hard is it to keep in contact again? Not very. IF she could moved his heart and make him spend that much time together, sparks could re-ignite and things might just happen.

JEALOUSY : not gonna deny it.
She was the lips he kissed for a yr+, the hands he held, the body he hugged, the tears he kissed away, the attention he showered on, the tantrums he put up with, the hair he smelt, the face he stroked, the girl he loved.
I felt crushed.No longer could i feel my heartbeat anymore.

All these feelings came crashing on me in that split second. I didn't know what to do nor cope. Desperately searching for an escapade. Wanted to numb myself so much til the extend, that i kept my mobiles at bay, stayed offline, think of school and really focus on my studies. i know this is good for me but how long can i sustain deceiving and concealing how i really feel? i don't really bother now. Will take a step as it goes i guess.

Sometimes, i really feel like i'm a bitch. I wanted things like that, and yet i couldn't handle the truth, the past, whatsoever, and bitched and whinged about how bitter i feel..It's just so inextricable, i could not possibly put in words at time. EAch and everytime was just a futile attempt to express my inner feelings and demons that make me dysfunctional.

God, please help me.

God, pls give me the strength to focus on my studies and the imminent exams.

God, pls guide me through this tough period in my life and to achieve the ultimate goals.

God, pls slow the hands of time so that i could have more time for studies and telly.

God, pls bless my family and friends back home, and that they'll be there when im back, receiving me with arms open.

God, pls make all ex-gfs vanish away,especially those evil manipulating ones especially those of his.

God, pls help him to study well, and wrap up all problems at home,whatever they may be.

God, pls appear in his dreams and let him be aware of my intricate feelings.

God , pls take away all the anger, frustrations deep in me, and help me be a better person to all.

Lastly, God..thank you for all that you had done and helped me. I may not be the best child in ur eyes , but i gave my best shot. Though i succumb humbly to material temptations, never once had i not regarded u in anything i do. I promised i will share my food. I promised that i will pray before i sleep no matter how heavy my lids are. I promised i will not scheme to get the tv guide even though the front cover display was O.C. I promised not be mean and will refrain from my sarcasm in speech.I promised not to swear and include vulgarities in every sentence. I promised to be a good girl and go to church promptly after all this. I know u will be mad at me for skipping SO many church sessions..i'm sorry God..

I hope all things go well....i love you God.

Sat

2004-07-31T22:28:00.000+08:00

Woke up feeling SO sleepy..and before i knew it..i had to go out again cause we made it a point to meet Yuka..

As usual, with me around, Keiko and i were running late..Was pretty cold today as it was raining..

anyhow, we got to town and i influeced Yuka to try Caramel crunch..i swear i'm intoxicating everyone with my addiction..heh
We smuggled the crunches into the cinema.. We caught " Stepford's wives".. It was really enjoyable..although it ain't my typical kinda genre of movie, but i really enjoyed it..especially Nicole Kidman is stunning! She's such a barbie doll .. in a good way.. really really like it..

As it was drizzling, we didn't know where to go. On top of that, the shops closes at 5 today..so we were kinda strapped with nowhere to go.. With keiko's insistant prompts to go to a pub, somehow we ended up at one..

Had fun..we played pool..i never thought i would ever touch a cue stick again after many donkey ass yrs but i did..As expected, i suck in it although i managed to score a few balls in.. =D

Spent awhile in the irish pub playing..but our growling tummies got the better of us so we decided to go grab something to stuff our tummies..

It was a pity that yuka had to go home to have tea so we walked her to her stop under the rain..it was really dumb that we knew it was gonna rain but none of us brought brolly...argh..anyhow..it was alright..cold ..but bearable..thanks to my good coat..as i only had a spag strap on ..hehehehe..talkin about coat..only then today i realised i had a 'secret' zip pocket in my jacket after wearing it for a times..damn..am i dumb or what..

After Yuka left, keiko and i wento get pizzas, although there was quiche waiting for us at home..hehe..we also dropped by the liquor store to pick up a few beers..what's pizza without beer man..we caught the bus..the lady driver was reeeaalllly nice..hehe..and we walked home..we took the long route home due to the bus..didn't want to wait for the usual bus we took..

Got home..pigged out on miso soup..quiche..and i had 3 slices of pizza! YUM!!!! ...*belch*..not long after..ana came home with vera.elizabeth,lorisa, and johnny..it was vera's bday today so we had the bday cake made by elizabeth today..it was some choc mousse cheesecake..it was lovely..but due to its richness, after a few spoons i felt sick..but out of being polite, i wanted to finish it and i felt terrible..so i just sat there not speaking a word as they converse over the sitting area..argh..

Anyhow..really enjoyed today..hehehe..gonna do my work laters before sleeping...

Hopefully tonight's conversation with him will be better..As much as i tried, our communication seems to be breaking down.. i don't know what's wrong with us...God, pls help me..

tired!!

2004-07-31T22:11:00.000+08:00

TIRED!!!!

Okies..lemme start..

Friday : Got back my part of my stinking chemistry results..got home..ate/watched tv and slept..got up later and went to the city.. Took the same bus to the city as Keiko, and met Oyah..
The three of us chilled at Hudson's sipping on caramel crunches! *Yum...i swear its an addiction..which after keiko's german friend, monica came to join us but both of them left shortly..

Not bein able to decide what to do, oyah and i roamed about..To appease myself over my stinking results, i was very much tempted to indulge in retail therapy like getting a bag but due to the last minute decision to catch a movie, we didn't have much time. Anyhow,the damn shops were closed at 9..so.... DAMN

However, i saw a REALLY LOVELY RED handbag..but damn it..its like 60 and it has no famous brand..oops, talking about that i didn't check where it was made from..argh..gotta go back to find out..but am afraid that i will succumb to the temptation to my fetish of bags..

We manged to catch ' i Robot'.. it wasn't that bad of a show..it made me realise how scary the rapid development of technology til the extend that it may overtake humanity...It was good but i reckon oyah slept..and she claimed she slept like '1/7' of the show...errr...hahahaha..

As the show as at Hindley St...known for its notoriouos image cuz its very much dangerous and sleazy..we were kinda nervous when making our way to the main road..but it was good cuz i met Keiko and we manged to get home together..

Cheerios~

cold..

2004-07-28T16:06:00.000+08:00

..... RAIN!

Woke up to the sounds of pitter-patter ,crystalling at the glass panes. Could hardly believe my eyes when i stared blankly at my alarm clock. Felt that i hardly had a wink of sleep man..damn. I need to get my ass to bed earlier..NO MORE LATENIGHTS!! ...NOT!..heh

After the whole turbulent and tulmultaneous i-swear-im-going-to-die exam week, i turned into an instant nocturnal animal!!...ok ..i stayed up late numerous times prior to that, but during that pathetic week, i slept at tlike wat..6am..and got up at 715 to prepare for school..My bio clock has its fair share of a carousel ride..

Ventured into Yoga yesty..feel realllllllllllyyyyyyyy goood...but i stopped today..was too cold to change into tank tops and slacks..so i was tucked all warmed up under my woolies with 3 pets and my kittyt cushion and snuggy pillow, all curled up on the couch, watching my taped O.C...i cant believe marissa slept with luke..ARGH...

oh wells..hope tml will turn out fine..cheerios~

a new beginning

2004-07-27T21:46:00.000+08:00

It was tough day. Didn't get up til abt 2..and watched Just shoot me and The Nanny while having my korean udon.

It's weird.Still very much indulging in my holiday mood...

I know i have to pick myself up. So i ventured into YOGA!

hehehe.it was good actually. i was in weird poses BUT i felt like it really worked..i felt good about myself after the session and went to shower..was online for a couple of mins..or more. =D

*Thanks Oyah..thanks for giving me ur support when i needed it most. look forward to pubbin this fri with u and hopefully a sleepover again eh?

*Thanks Liyah. You were with me through my toughest time and you did a lot for me. Can't even thank you enough.Must catch up soon ya?

*Thanks ah-dom & addy, thanks for putting up with me and finally keeping in touch after many long yrs and still listen to me. I know you two care loads about me even after all this while. You two are worth a dozen of J.Ds!

*Thanks to those who showered me with hugs and listen to me..

This is tough but somebody's gotta do it. Vicky said, " When a door closes, a new one will open again".

Hopefully, i can distract myself enough to tide me through this toughie...

heaps of wuv n muacks!

tarot

2004-07-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

how you feel about yourself now (The Lovers)

You want love or a new love in your life and a new relationship is in the offering. Even if you are not thinking about love, you’re in for a surprise. If faced with a choice this is an important one and could affect the rest of your life.

what you most want at this moment (The Tower)

The cards suggest Joan, that what you most want at this time is an easy solution to a problem. However in life, turmoil and upheaval often brings about change - just not quite as we would like it. Seize this opportunity of change as a chance for a new beginning. You may want to move home but will be experiencing setbacks.

your fears (Temperance)

You are afraid that this period of harmony in your relationship or life in general is not going to last. Perhaps you are afraid a rival is going to cause conflict or already is and threatens to upset the peace and tranquillity you are enjoying. Any quarrels will be short lived so just try and enjoy the moment for what it is. If life is not joyful and tranquil at the moment you may fear that it never will be, take heart and be patient and life will soon have a sense of normality again.

what is going for you (The High Priestess)

All lines are open in your telephone exchange with your intuition, and there is no better guide than your intuition. Listen, listen carefully and the secret you want revealed will be shared with you.

what is going against you (The Empress)

There are conflicts around you, frustrations and possibly a break up in a relationship. Be careful not to over-react and be too protective or dictatorial about your needs, and whatever you do, do not resort to emotional blackmail, it won’t do you any favours. You may be experiencing infertility problems or an unplanned pregnancy, if so just know that there are people around you who love and care for you and will provide support.

outcome (The Emperor)

Expect success and achievement of your goals, this is a time for fulfillment of your ambitions. If you have placed your trust in your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life, they will come up trumps for you. If you have been the victim of ill-will don’t worry, you will win in the end.

I can't believe how true this is..esp "What is going against you"..

YOU

2004-07-26T22:12:00.000+08:00

- YOU-

- The first person whom i found so fascinating that my heart just flutter and thrown into irregular palpitation whenever you smile or took a glance at my direction..

-Made me sat up at your presence and listen to the comments you had in class for you're so outspoken..

-Brighten up my day when my mobile beeped with your 'forwarded' sms..

-Turned into an instant princess when you got off the car and walked me to school..

- Thrown me into a frenzy on our first date '02..

- Made me feel like a child on a nursery recital, lost for words to utter in your presence in the movie..

-Devastated me when you we didn't speak for months after the date..

-Agonise me with every sms that came which wasn't from you..

-Filled me with resentment that you were attached with someone else..and both of u displayed ur affections in class..

-Had my heart fluttering again in '03 when we started to see each other more often after i left school..

-Made me the happiest girl ever when you popped the question..

Everything after that seems like a fairytale. Enchanting and miraculous.

I'll always remember how we used to goof around doing nothing.It was always comforting and reassuring whenever in your arms.Your bashfulness seems to contradict your spunky surface you never fail to portray. You were always so silly in your actions. At dhoby station, just a hug from you, had set your heart racing and blushing. The endless pig out sessions,especially at macs, where we both had 20 nuggets for side as the entree.Talking abt nuggets, you spoil me with my weird eating habits of having to skin the nuggets. You were such a good nugget-skinner. You were like my vacuum cleaner, always sucking my leftovers in your bulging tummy. You didn't mind my palms being sweaty, and didn't allow to let my hand go and cleaning it on your jeans instead. You were always disappointed cause i didn't wanna lie on your shoulder cause i said it was uncomfortable for you were on my left. Since then, you made sure to be on my right constantly. You knew that i only wanted even-numbered ticket stub. You listened to my whinge and whines perpetually especially when i missed out a good sale or some bitches had bought the item that i wanted. You fanned me with your hands frantically during the warm days although you proved me wrong about the wind circulation theory, but still you conferred to it. You got embarassed by me whenever we walk along town and goes into every shopping mall for the air-con as i could not tolerate the heat. You waited countlessly of hours for me when you pick me up cause i had bad hair day or i didn't know what to wear. You kissed my tears away when i felt upset when my sister wore my clothes or i broke my mobile's accessories. You didn't bother about the fact that i need to have 5 plates of mayonnaise with my mos burger's fries. You held back your tears at the airport cause you didn't want me to change my mind about flying off. You kept your promise to come to adelaide. You didn't mind looking like a total retard carrying all my barang barang from sg to adelaide. You didn't mind picking me at the airport when you only got to see me and exchanged less than 5 lines with me, and having me return home with my family.

You were my pillar of strength that kept me going when i'm here all alone battling heaps of school work,and missing home.
You were my informator,updating me every single gossip.
You were my punter that bet with me for Euro.
You are everything to me...

Vicky told me, every good things have to come to an end. I wished this relationship was not of something good.I don't want it to end.

All of the spiteful things i said, it was just bullshit. i'm sorry.

Noone had tore me apart like you did. Noone had made me felt so strongly for em before. Noone had pierced my heart like you did.Noone had made me shed the amount of tears like you did

Ironically i can't bring myself to hate you.

Now that I'm on my own, i pray to God, hoping things will be better..

I hope you're happy..with whoever that comes along next.

With your memory, you probably wld not remember me..

I'll always remember you deep in my heart.

You alway ask me, " Always?"

....... the same reply .. " Forever"

down

2004-07-25T01:13:00.000+08:00

Have it ever occurred that the person whom you get along with so well, going through ups and downs,sharing all secrets, endless calls yakking about trash most of the times, share your joy..woes..sorrow..turns out to be only a superficial front?

.....

I want to blog so much, but i just couldn't.

I swear i'm nowhere near sober.

It hurts.

It really does.

Nothing with me but my bottle of Coopers.

TV

2004-07-15T15:33:00.001+08:00

Just as i expected, tonight i won't be able to catch 'Charmed' on tv ..

Not like i'm dying to anyway..

Mind you, i like 'Charmed'...ok..i likeD 'Charmed'...

I have no qualms, whatsoever, with that show.On the contary, i was their biggest fan.You've no idea how elated i was when SCV was installed in my house. Back in Spore,without fail, everytime they have charmed at 10pm at night, i would be glued to the tv, like melted cheese on pizza, stubborn grease on pans, fingers to phonepads.. ok, you get the idea.

So, i would be the last to say that i hated that show or anywhere near that.

However, the 'Charmed' ain't 'charming' no more. For those who caught the series right from the beginning, where Doherty was still existing as 'Prue', those were the kickass times when the show really rock.. Somehow along the way, the director/producer/scriptwriter fumbled along the way, and went with Hollywood's motto : Sex sells. Not that i'm denying that Doherty and Milano had revealing outfits, but don't you just agree that it got worse?
FLASHBACK : the mermaid episode.

For instance, take 3 episodes :

1st episode : boobies 'kinda' exposed. Think Mermaid episode.

2nd episode : Legs

3rd episode : hips

All in all, if we were to combine 3 episodes of the amout of body parts exposed, it would be as good as Nude tv. And they say nude/porn ain't telecast on national tv-primetime

The last time i remembered in schools, the general meaning of words : SEX SELLS is NOT equal to FLESH SELL.

So why are, our species, women, doing all these? to gain fame? or to create controversy over who's the sluttiest of all??

Another good example. : Buffy the Vampire Slayer

From innocent sweet high school girl slaying her guts outs with vampys, to a distressed and confused girl who sleeps with a good-guy-turned-vampire-and-started-his-own-series-"Angel" .
Not that it is of my concern, but what the hell was she slaying or dealing with.? Err..Witchcraft? Resurrection? Dealing with her alter ego? ... Anything but Vampires. Is that the result of the malfunction of the brains of the scriptwriter? or is it just earning broadcasting cash from taxpayers? Go figure.

They say, media hypes up everything and blows everything out of proportion and reports what everyone wants to believe rather than what SHOULD believed. I beg to differ. Think Miss Jackson in Superbowl. I don't even wanna elaborate. Good on her for the fine she had to pay. Atleast it relieves us from the eyesore of having to view repeated telecast of boobies flashing on News. It was especially un-appetising to watch augmentated breasts, with nipples rings at dinner time, on dinenr table. Give our taste buds a break. We shall not even elaborate on your brother and his enemy : THE nose -grins-

Before anyone starts saying i'm bias and judgemental, i've my fair share of resentment towards annoying reporters and paparazzi. You assholes took Princess Di away!

Ok.

Anyhoo, the point being, i miss good ol' Tv shows like Be*Witched, the Nanny, Ally McBeal, and tons others.. The shows nowadays just doesn't make sense anymore. No matter how belliegerent a person can get, Who's gonna defend that the tv nowdays does us any good,except to telecast stupid stuff that talks about nothing but : SEX....erm..SEX...and..ermm..SEX???

I , for one, definately won't be the first to tune into Animal World, National Geographic or whatsoever ..All i'm asking for is quality Tv.

Like last night, they had 'POMPEII : the last day " . I thought that was rather educational rather than some shows just to take up our time. Atleast i learnt how Italy look like on the Map. =D

THe guilty me, somehow agrees,we need dumbass shows to keep us entertain and to brighten our dull and boring day. At times i watched Big bRother too. Although i really detested the fact that girls were wearing Gs on their head, but that's another story for another day.

Perhaps, we should get really real life stories and stop flashing body parts around.

We don't need more augmentated boobies, botox-ed faces, bleached skins, Liposuctioned bodies, and those buttlifts, facelifts, and shit like that.

Gimme those good shows.. I'm sure many others too.

In the meantime, i'll get cosy and get my tape ready for the next episode of Jerry Springer..

FREEZING!!!

2004-07-15T14:37:00.000+08:00

Damn the weather. It has been this chilly for the past few days! Dang..

Just realised the holidays had really 'stupidified' me over the past week-ish.

Was supposed to take a quick nap at 130 in the morning and get up later, supposedly, to mug for my oh-im-so-screwed-exams coming up..however, as i was using my mobile phone for my singtel line which was set with 24hr-sg's timezone, i punched in " 1200"...only to be waken up with the earth shattering vibration at 314am my time when ian smsed me..

I was so sleepy, i couldn't think but to remain startled as i stared at the alarm clock. As i began to regain my 'consciouness', as usual, started to swear at that damn ass mobile and regretted not using my trustee 7200 than some useless,mediocre 3100 or somewhere along the 3 series..

So darling called me and we started to chat till it was about 430 i reckon..

Been blaming it on everyone and everything that accounted for me oversleeping..So i ranted and raved on the phone. Darling kept laughing like i was a comedian or some sort..but it was so true!!!

1. Darling slept so there was noone i could whine to,and since he'll be up 2 hrs later , why can't i sleep too..huh..why!why!why!

2. 3 pets were sleeping too so i was surrounded with 2 on one side and one on the other. Been clouded by the warm and cosy atmosphere, it's human nature to be susceptible to it and why prevent the inevitable??!!

3. It's so damn cold here that my toes and arms were freezing so the last resort was only to hop into bed under my 3 layer thick blankie ( i so hate electric blanket so don't even start!) and bury myself BUT i was still trying to pry open my heavy lids, to make out what i was reading..

4. The inevitable happen...

SEE!! it's not my fault!!! ..now,stop laughing darling..

Anyhoo, was supposed to get up at 1030..

As usual..i didn't

But i made a recommendable effort.

- isolated myself from the internet. i placed my laptop far away from myself!! ok..it was only behind me on the bed ..but still .. -grins-

- NO TV!! even though days of our lives was back today at 1..

And only then! my dumb ass phone started to ring..

Yes..i really punched in 1200 when it was supposed to be 0000

SEE wat i mean!!

How on earth did i let that happen, when i'm not a blonde..geez

So..managed to squeesed in about 3 chapters by 330 , only to realise that i missed THE NANNY!!! wat the hell..

But it was all good..caught a litte of judge judy, while savoring the berry yoghurt and smsing darling..

Now..right infront of me is my good ol buddy, Bet all of you,,( yes every single one of u and don't u dare deny it ) has met my good ol pal of what..erm..19 yrs? ..

Meet .. Perpertual Procrastination..Who usually goes by Procrastinate.. =D

It's due time that i get my ass to shower before i start fidgeting around and waste my time so effectively in oblivion..

Will be back to update on 'POMPEII'

Is it me ..or am i a tv-critic cuz i do nothing but blab about aussie tv....

Fine. i got my answer..

-gone-

Turning in..

2004-07-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

Time slips by without anyone knowing. Silently, it just creeps away.

Yeah, it feels like a deja vu all over again eh? This is exactly how i feel whenever i have exams or tests. hahahaha..oh man, i'm so bloody screwed.

On the high side, i planned what i've to accomplish in the next couple of days before the big 'E' finally hits me. --Ambitious--...NOT!!! Supposedly to have only slacked for 3 days right after school ends but for some apparent reasons, i extended my "well-deserved" holidays for more than 10 days. ...Consequences : ugly.

Just read one of my gf's blog.

Infidelity.

Enough said. It brings back to one of the conversations i've had on the table. Talking about betrayal.

Being the 'oh-so-feminist' me, i defended my own species while Thomas did his. What struck me was, the evolution of life was discussed. For apparent reasons ( which i refuse to believe even if it's over my dead body), the male species have the right to mate with different female species as they were, supposedly, to be multiplying. Whereas, the female species, being the selective type, looks around for male species to mate. We're talking about the pre-evolution days, before human evolution began. So probably, we're discussing about animals.

Anyhoo, since the female species selects their countermates to mate with, therefore, they ought to be faithful. On the otherhand, the males could get away with it as their primary task is to multiply their genes. Conclusively, thomas believed that hence, males are "excused" when they stray while women ought to be condemn if they do so. HAH! how atrocious!

In defense, i retorted.." What faith are you,may i ask?" with a mischievous grin. "RC".

Great. I could almost taste the sweetness of victory.

So, i began to elaborate on my "little knownledge" of the Catholic faith,whereby one of the commandments was " Thou shall not commit adultery". BINGO! i knew i hit the nail.

He was utterly speechless.

It was never in my attempt to go against poor ol' Tom, but to put into justification that, neither male or females have the right to stray nor lust after another opposite gender. If either is not ready for commitment, why even be together in the first place and face imminent problems that causes chaos not only for yourself, but people around who cares and loves you?

Same for courtship. Whatever that bastard did to my gf,deserves to be shot in crotch,eyes gorged out,stab in the heart ( provided he had one), intestines ripped off, and buried alive...perhaps those are still not gory enough. I wouldn't even wanna elaborate on that bf-snatching bitch who we ought to shove trouts up her ###### .

It's true. Love can't be ordered. Love is sweet and wonderful. Whatever happens to the simplicity of pure bliss and happiness? Do we,humans, have to destroy ultimately everything blissful God has gave to us?

Oh wells. its freaking 3 am in the morning. Time to stop my blabber and get back to my darling.

Hehehe..sorry to keep u waiting darling..hehehe..*yawns*

Will try to wake up early tomorrow.

..I've a strong feeling, my dear ol friend, Procrastination, will be catching up with me again like it always do..Till then..

YEeee--Haw

2004-07-13T11:14:00.000+08:00

Hmmm..A FRESH morning!!! i got up in the morning!! Anyhoo, update on yesty

Tried mugging the whole day for physics, but inevitably was distracted by 'The Nanny' & 'Judge Judy'. Those 2 shows rock! So i muddled a little here and there..blah blah blah..Til abt 6. Turned on the tv for 'Simpsons' and Elizabeth, her friend from Mexico, Loralisa , Vera came over for dinner. We made pies, "un-traditional" Miso soup, and bean salad. They were having champagne except eliz..I didn't have it too, cuz i needed to mug laters. Talk awhile over cheesecake while laughing over the contestants on 'who wants to be a millionaire'.. ..

Hmm, which after they left, i continued with my studies, having to battle the endless yawns, heavy lids, and temptation of the internet. WHICH , i humbly succumbed to eventually. hehehe

Managed to 'master' about 3 chapters of phy, which ain't too good but im still going. Packed everything up about 2 ish. Talked to CHEAP ..hehehe till about 430! Geez..

Was awaken by the earth shattering vibration of the my mobile. Cheap called to make me up 'cuz i wanted to go to Bi-Lo.

So after i washed up, went to bi-lo to get CHOCO.. i swear this is only an interim period for these cravings cuz i never go near choco..Even Alwiyah said i'm weird..hahaha..but i'm beginnin to be addicted to it. Was kinda frustrated cuz i couldnt get the Dove ones..so ended up getting the Cadbury' Crunchie..which was good too..

Dropped by cheap as chips to get a video tape as well as 2 blank discs..so that i could record tonight's episode of the OC!! as well as continue my schizophrenic half of a music pirate. =D

Made some mee goreng from peas,shrooms,prawns and savouring the taste over a chilled glass of cola and fresh papers...Here i am blogging away.

Think i'm gonna hit my bowl of piping hot noodles and smsing CHEAP..hope his day is as well,..erm.productive as mine.. love love =D :D

Cold and Sad day

2004-07-11T16:22:00.000+08:00

Today's a cold day. Been raining profusely. In addition to the harsh weather, one of my roommate left the hse this morning. Felt rather unease without her presence. 'Tho she's never loud, her boisterous physique seems to linger in the hse in a subtle way.. I just miss her..Afterall, we've been living together for 5months..Pretty long. The sight of her hopping into the car, knowing that we will never see each other everyday, or every morning for that matter, just reignites the poignancy in the air.

I can't deal with partings.

Who's gonna watch movies with me? Who's gonna go shopping with me? Who's gonna poke fun at Thomas with me? Who's gonna dwl ayumi stuff with me? Who's gonna watch dvd til the wee hours with me? Who's gonna call yoyo, zomkey? Who's gonna share with me new chocs....

Nothing will be the same in the house anymore. Not without you Yuka. Wishing you all the best..

On the high side of things, I'm gonna cook curry laters. Ana n Thomas are gonna be out tonite for tea,leaving the poor me alone at home. But atleast, Thomas rented 'the wedding singer' which i missed last night, so it's all good..

Haven't been sleeping enough. Had Oya over that night. IT was crazy.
Met up, and we went to school to collect my biology shit test
...Then, we went to buy tofu for miso soup..
Rented some HORROR DVDs.. dont even start..i don't wanna talk abt it..
Which ahter, we went to have lunch..
I had Mexican!!! mmm..ma ma mia..chicken burrito..YUMZ..but i doubt it's authentic..
Accompanied oya to Toni n guys for a hair cut etc.. Before heading back to home..We watched the dvds together with yuka in the hall,and after which in my room..But oya ditched me for lala-land So i had Yuka's company.We finished at abt 4ish,and she went off to bed. Just as i was gonna sleep, Oya got up so we did crazy things..til abt 7am ish in the morning..

So it was crazy..but it was good..Anyhow..gonna chat a bit before curry time..

..

2004-07-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

Finally!! All thanks to Yang, i've gotten my page up n done..You've no idea how thankful i am Yang *hugs* hehe..gonna xplore more laters

Trying out once more..

2004-07-10T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hmmmmm...test test

Just trying out

2004-07-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

WAs wondering if this ever gets thru